Sunday, April 26, 2015

DISCOMBOBULATED THOUGHTS



These are weeds but they're lovely


Discombobulated, Jon?

Yea, every once in a while I like to use big words. I have no idea what the heck it means. It just looks good.

In my previous post I promised that I would address all of your comments in my next post. Well, this is my next post and I'm too lazy to address your comments individually. I'll merely sort of generalize.

I've had a few beers, so I'll ask for forgiveness in advance for my disjointed ramblings.

First of all, mysterious and anonymous "NB" brought up the subject of scorpions and wondered if I ever saw my cats kill one. In Texas, my oldest cat Scratch killed several scorpions but I never actually saw how she did it. I had heard that cats are immuned from the venom of a scorpion sting - - but upon doing research I discovered that it isn't true. Cats have padded paws, thick fur, and tough upper palates which helps protect them from the sting.

On the subject of the memoir that I am thinking about writing: it's unanimous! Apparently everybody is in favor of me spilling my darkest secrets like sacrificial blood and offering them for public consumption. So I'll do it.
What have I got to lose - - except my dignity, my reputation, my privacy, my friends, and my relatives?

What reputation, Jon?

I actually think everyone should write a memoir. We all have special stories to tell and they should not remain unspoken. It doesn't have to be a masterpiece - - merely a documentation of memories. At any rate, it's a beneficial catharsis. Several of my blog readers have mentioned wanting to write and they definitely should. Don't let your existence evaporate.

End of lecture.



I've managed to overcome my apprehensions about writing my Hollywood memoir. I was initially worried that it wouldn't be interesting, but I actually have an over-abundance of intriguing stories to tell. And they're not all X-rated.

I was worried about the problem of name-dropping and the possibility of being sued, by the living and/or the dead. The dead can come back to bite. Trust me on that.

Careful evaluation of each situation and a selective choice of wording might save my hide. I'll also (unfortunately) have to change some names when relating compromising situations.
 Like the time I had a four-day non-stop tryst with a film director in the Beverly Hills Hotel.......
 .....or the time I was in the car with the naked actor and I leaped out and ran away when the police stopped us......
or the time I was in a midnight police raid at the notorious Drake Theater (those three incidents are worthy of a book in themselves)

I'm not bragging. I'm just saying.

I'm suddenly (and sadly) realizing that most of these things happened 35 years ago (or more), and many of the places and people I knew are no longer pertinent. My exploits might seem slightly archaic and largely inconsequential. It was a different era but an extremely colorful one.

Now I'm starting to depress myself. 

I suppose I can safely express my observations about people I've met without any major repercussions. 
John Wayne was a rude drunk. Groucho Marx was extremely fragile and nearly senile. Liza Minnelli is a sweetheart but slightly discombobulated (there's that word again). Joan Rivers was intelligent and surprisingly sensitive. Burt Reynolds is more gay than bi.

Hey, I'm certainly no expert on Hollywood. I don't profess to be an historian. And I'm not about to write a celebrity "tell-all" because I don't know all.

I can only offer what I've experienced and observed.  Hollywood is tawdry and fickle, illusional and delusional, very often ruthless and brutal, one gigantic elaborate sham. A lot of tarnish beneath the glitz. The truth that I knew is deliciously stranger than fiction.


Change of subject (and not a moment too soon)

Rain, rain, and everything is green and lovely.

What about those mysterious "ghost" lights that I've seen in the forest? 
The nights have been cold here lately. The lights have been sparse but I did see some a few nights ago. I'm still puzzled because there is no logical pattern as to when they appear. My guess is still fireflies - yet, I've never before seen fireflies on such cold nights. 

 This is the forest by my property where the "ghost" lights reside



 

20 comments:

  1. Sounds like you've got some calculating to do on memoirs but the problems are not insuperable --if you go for the narrative with your excellent mastery of the personal essay, you'll do fine. As for ghost lights, I gather they gas up from hot, wet vegetation. Was it raining then hot-humid before you sighted them?

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    1. It had indeed been raining before I first sighted them. It rains often here. It was warm and humid but not hot. The warmest it ever got here so far is about 80 degrees. The past few nights were in the low 40's.

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  2. I wasn't necessarily a fan of Ms. Rivers, but wondered on more than one occasion if she wasn't erecting a wall about herself. Not a fan of Reynolds nor Wayne. Good and bad, you've such a wealth of memories!

    Thank you for the vote of confidence (not to let my existence evaporate). Neat choice of words! Yes, I'll probably begin another, private blog before long. Catharsis, right?

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    1. I never liked Wayne or Reynolds. Both are over-rated. Joan Rivers definitely used the brash crudeness as a shield. Underneath it all she was vulnerable and, I assume, insecure.

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  3. Hi, Jon. Love that I am "mysterious!" Certainly didn't mean to be that. Anon is my personal choice to try and reduce my internet footprint; sorry about that. Thanks for answering my question. Another bio you might consider reading is Tab Hunter's. ~~~ NB

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    1. I don't mind your anonymity at all. When you first began leaving comments I thought you were my cousin Nancy, because she has your initials and said that she would comment anonymously. I've been wanting to read Tab Hunter's book for a long time. I'll add it to my "must-read" list.

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  4. Like you have unabashedly stated numerous times here, "There is a lot of tarnish beneath the glitz of Hollywood." We want to hear every juicy detail.

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    1. I'll try to be as juicy as legally possible.

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  5. My partner told me about Tab Hunter years ago - I had no idea about his "secret" past. He was impossibly pretty. I remember reading stories about how James Dean received his start in Hollywood....whether it's true or not, goodness knows.
    My partner attended a "mixed" party in the UK in a private home in the early 60's and remembers seeing one of the Everly Brothers in rather a compromising position!

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    1. I've never heard any gossip about the Everly Brothers (until now) - - that's interesting! There are many people who still refuse to believe that James Dean was gay, but he was. All those so-called romances he had with women were a sham.

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  6. Oh goody! 'Spilling-the-beans' time coming up. Can hardly wait. I do so loves me some gossip!

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    1. I loves me gossip, too - - especially if it's the Hollywood kind.

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  7. Can you talk to the former owners about the lights? My daughter just bought a ranch in the hill country. She is in contact with one of the daughters of the former owners to find out any interesting stories about the place.

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    1. Unfortunately the previous owner moved away and I can't contact him. His adopted son used to live here, but he's in prison.....

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  8. Replies
    1. The weeds sure weren't that pretty in Texas.

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  9. Jon,
    I would love to read your memoirs. Not only because you have had an obviously very interesting life but because you are such a good writer. Presently I am reading "Groucho and Me", written by his son Arthur Marx. This is the third book I've by Arthur Marx, who I recently discovered by reading his biography of Red Skelton and Mickey Rooney. His writing is a lot like yours, holds your interest, concise and excellent narrative. You have a natural writing talent Jon, can't wait until you publish your book!
    Ron

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  10. Ron, I remember reading "Groucho and Me" long ago and I loved it. Groucho was furious when Arthur wrote the book and, from what I heard, never forgave him. I think Arthur told too much of the truth......

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  11. We all write memoirs jon
    Blogs!

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    1. You're right about that, but blogs are rather fleeting. A full-fledged memoir is more tangible (I think.....)

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