Monday, February 27, 2017


I recently said that I wasn't going to watch the Academy Awards this year. Well, in a shameful moment of acute moral relapse, I caught the last half hour (on live stream) to see what film won for best picture.

As fate would have it, this turned out to be the best part of the entire show. It was the worst debacle in Academy Award history - and has Hollywood Bigwigs spinning on their pompous asses, with egg dripping from their facelifts.

Allow me to explain:

The presentation for Best Picture is always the most eagerly-awaited part of the entire long and tedious ceremony.

The audience already sat through four excruciating hours of the usual insincere ass-kissing accolades, and listened to the usual weary, threadbare Hollywood rhetoric: including that  written statement sent to us by Iranian film director Asghar Farhadi who refused to attend the ceremonies because of President Trump's "inhumane" immigration ban - - and because of our "disrespect" for Muslim countries.

Yea, right Bubaloo. These are the same countries who execute gays, enslave women, enjoy public beheadings, and hate everyone other than themselves. 
Go suck a camel hump.

Aw, settle down and breathe easy, amigos - I'm getting to the good part.

Finally the moment has arrived to announce the Best Picture award. The award presenters are Faye Dunaway and Warren Beatty - who were resurrected from the Tinseltown Boneyard because they starred in the film Bonnie and Clyde, which was made fifty years ago (yup - 1967).

Dunaway and Beatty in 1967

Warren Beatty opens the hermetically sealed envelope to announce the winner. He looks at the contents, fumbles around, and inexplicably hands it to Faye Dunaway. Everyone thinks he's either goofy or senile (which wasn't the case).

Faye glances at the envelope and quickly announces that the winner for Best Picture is La La Land.

Before the words leave her lips, a stampede of La La participants crowd onto the stage - and the babbling Thank You speeches begin.

While the La La recipients are in the midst of giving profuse thanks to everyone in their entire lives - - some flustered bald guy emerges out of nowhere with the devastating news that La La Land didn't win for Best Picture. It was, in fact, Moonlight that won.

While the La La bubbles were bursting in abject confusion, the Moonlight participants stampeded the stage and commenced with their own barrage of Thank You speeches.

Chaos ensued. It was a Hollywood epic worthy of Cecil B. DeMille.

The raw - not to mention embarrassing - fact is that the wrong envelope was given to Warren Beatty. In it contained the proclamation that Emma Stone won for Best Actress (which indeed she did). But she already accepted her Oscar hours ago (or so it seemed).

Faye Dunaway saw the name Emma Stone (for La La Land) and assumed that La La had won for Best Picture.
It was an incredibly ugly scene - but neither Beatty nor Dunaway can be blamed for it. 
Some Jackass behind the scenes can be thanked for the Big Boner.

My own personal thoughts are that the Russians are behind it. I have no doubt that Vladimir Putin hacked the Academy Awards.
I demand a recount.
Moonlight might have won the electoral vote - - but it was La La Land that won the popular vote.

I plan to go out tomorrow to riot in the streets, burn buildings, and very possibly loot.

Here's the blunder on video, in case you want to see it. I got this from YouTube.

  ( A few of the usual sourpusses didn't appreciate my humor. It's their loss....)


  1. Hollywood is in your blood brother, I knew you could not stay away for the whole night!!!! I didn't watch but caught bit today and the end of course. Warren handled the whole thing very well I thought, and I adore Faye, but wished she too would have caught it like Warren did, and just fumbled around too. Warren I believe could be seen trying to grab the attention real quick of someone off stage, but no one seemed to get it. But it really wasn't there fault, but I do bet someone's head will roll at the accounting firm.

    That aside from the fashion I saw today, was very pleased to see some great fashion for a change, best I seen in years for this wing ding.

  2. we joined the broadcast just in time to see best actor, actress and picture announced. it was hysterical to see the flub.

  3. Both Dunaway and Beatty were too stupid to read the words "Emma Stone" and realise something was very wrong and ask Kimmell what to do next. But no, they are just robots.

    As for your political rant, funny how you forgot to mention the Syrian cinematographer, Khaled Khateeb, who was denied entry to your country on Saturday and was thus unable to collect his Oscar for his Netflix short documentary film. His film was about search and rescue workers who risk their lives.
    Jon, if your political rants ever make sense, I'll respond to them, but not until. And considering you don't even bother to vote, in my opinion, that gives you ZERO right to ever say anything about politics, Ever.

    1. Rozzie,
      Judging by the extreme bitterness of your comment I must have been successful in hitting a nerve. The truth always hurts.

      And since you don't live in my country, I suppose you don't have much of a right to say anything about it, either.

    2. BTW, the Academy Awards are intended to be about the film industry - - not a forum for political lectures.

  4. I really like
    Bonnie & Clyde
    thanks for the
    epic fail!

  5. For a few seconds I thought it was another lame Jimmy Kimmel stunt.....!!

  6. I thought Jimmy Kimmel was great! I loved it when he asked Meryl Streep if she was wearing 'Ivanka".

  7. Didn't watch, but heard about it and saw the clip. Felt bad for everybody...including the person who made the error with the wrong envelope.
    Please keep in mind, people do have the right to express their personal opinions...just as you do here. We are lucky to have that right, my friend. ;)

    1. I simply don't understand why people who loathe my opinions keep hanging around.
      They would definitely be happier elsewhere.

      If anyone ever saw all the nasty comments that I have to delete, you'd understand my frustration.

    2. Does that mean you want me to leave? I don't agree with your political opinions at all, but you have a right to them. I have never tried to change your mind or insulted and belittled you because you have different beliefs. I became a follower because of the whole of you...the artist, the insomniac, the cat lover, the wild child, the possum feeder...beyond the political rants. It does hurt to be lumped into your liberal anger, though. :(

    3. Good heavens, Rita - I wasn't talking about you! Your comments are ALWAYS kind. I was referring to the people who consistently leave nasty, unkind comments on my blog - and never have anything positive to say.

      When I just re-read your initial comment, I realized that I misunderstood it. I think you were referring to people expressing personal opinions at the Oscars - - not on blogs comments.

      Anyway, please forgive me for sounding like I was referring to you personally!

  8. Rant On, Rant On!!! You can say whatever you want on YOUR blog!!!
    Don't watch award shows. I guess this FU gave the show some excitement.

  9. I did not watch the awards. The only time I remember ever doing so was when a friend and I were staying at a B&B in Santa Barbara. This was long before the days of cable or satellite TV so we were stuck watching it.
    I saw a picture of the audience reaction to the kerfuffle. The caption was worded so badly that I couldn't tell if they were horrified at the mistake or that Moonlight had won.
    I don't know if she was at the Academy awards or some other event but I saw a picture of Mariah Carey in a dress where her giant fake boobs were pushed practically up to her chin. Real classy. Supposedly this was one of her better ensembles. I fear for humanity.

  10. Hahaha - thanks for the humorous recap since I actually didn't watch the Oscars at all. Fifty years since Bonnie and Clyde - wow ! I wish Faye would have aged naturally without acquiring that typical Hollywood plastic face. It all looks the same ....

  11. I actually caught this too Jon as it happened. I usually don't watch the Oscars becausevibcan'tvsyandvsll ghrbtgsnking if everyone including their kids "...without little Moonbeam this award would never have been possible for me to achieve it ......", ya da ya da ya. What a screw up. I think a special prosecutor should be appointed to investigate the OBVIOUS Russian connection.🐻

  12. We made it home just in time to catch this snafu. Loved it ... but more so, your comment about egg dripping from their facelifts!
    For a moment there, I thought Beatty was in the throes of dementia. It won't keep me up nights, but I wonder if the Academy isn't shopping for a new independent accounting firm.

  13. I believe it was an accountant who messed up. I must say Faye has aged better than him.

  14. I watched, thought the entire show was rather stupidly done. Best thing about it was the iridescent Oscars on the stage, just gorgeous. We do not have the acting caliber/talent of by-gone years, old movies are truly entertaining. The people that actually won had their moment stolen from them over a joke and I think it was done on purpose...never liked Kimmels humor. Clark Gable, Charlton Heston, Sidney Longstreet, Boris Karloff...the A list goes on and on - these actors do not measure up.

  15. Jon, I stopped watching the Academy Awards years ago when it mainly concerned young film artists I'd never heard of. Now it's full of the kids of artists I never heard of. I still like the Oscar statue though, because it has really good posture and sets an example to us all.

  16. The lowest account in PW probably lost his/her job after this. Poop flows downhill....


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