THANKFUL?

For the first time in my entire life, I face Thanksgiving with absolutely nothing to be thankful for. My devastating personal problems and increasing health issues have destroyed any semblance of hope or gratitude.

I'm not in the mood to feign a saccharin list of phantom blessings that don't really exist.

When I go to bed at night I fervently pray that I'll never wake up.
When I wake in the morning I cringe at the thought of having to face another day.

But you don't want to hear this.
And I don't blame you.

I'll keep the secret agonies to myself and take them to my grave.

Change of subject-
miscellaneous diversions

I had planned to make the dreaded long journey to town this week.....but health issues and the thought of facing pre-Thanksgiving shoppers was incentive enough to keep me home. I'll try to go next week.

As for Thanksgiving, I'll make due with what I have at home. This includes a large pork sirloin roast, sweet potatoes, green beans, homemade bread, and homemade soup.

A thick hodgepodge soup, which I made with chicken, corn, and noodles. I really wanted to add carrots and onions - but I'm all out.

I also plan to make a strawberry rhubarb pie and possibly pumpkin bread.

I yearn for the distant days when I had family and friends to cook for. I enjoyed making elaborate meals.
Nowadays it's just me and my cat Bosco, ensconced in the unforgiving wilderness.

I admittedly started baking again - after a pathetically long hiatus - and I'm surprising myself with my (humble) creations. I made a cherry pie last week. It didn't exactly look perfect but tasted delicious. I found a simple recipe for pie crust and it was really good.

I'll have to learn how to properly crimp the edges of the pie. My clumsy efforts were pitiful.

I baked my very first loaf of homemade bread and it was perfect, surprisingly delicious.

I made tortillas for the first time, and they were the most challenging to do. You have to roll the dough as thin as possible. Mine were (slightly) too thick.
And I couldn't exactly make them round. I had square tortillas, octagon tortillas, and alarmingly abstract tortillas. But they tasted very decent and I used them for burritos.

One of my nearly round tortillas in progress. Each side only has to be heated for about a minute.

Later......

Is today Wednesday? I think so. I just made a strawberry-rhubarb pie from scratch. Just took it out of the oven. When it (finally) cools I'll eat a piece and save the rest for tomorrow.

My strawberry-rhubarb pie. It doesn't look perfect, but I couldn't care less. I'm the only one who's going to see it.......and you.
But you're too polite to laugh.......

Weather Report

Rain is predicted for Thanksgiving. And Black Friday. And the upcoming weekend.

Question:

Does Black Friday sound racist?

What if it was called White Friday?

Blessings and Peace,   Jon              

ALL ABOUT THANKSGIVING

I originally wrote this post at least a dozen years ago on my old Texas blog Lone Star Concerto. That was a time when blogging used to be fun and people still had a sense of humor. 

During the past few years the blogging world has  drastically changed - - tainted with far too much sensitivity, malice, and lack of humor.

People can no longer tolerate opinions that differ from their own - - especially if those opinions resonate with smidgens of truth.  

Well, hell, I still like this post a lot and think it's worth a rerun.

Put on your Pilgrim hats and take a deep breath, boys and girls. Here's my take on Thanksgiving.

                                                            Jon

No matter what opinion you have about Thanksgiving, I think we can all agree that the concept of the holiday is based on varying degrees of legend and hokum.

When we were innocent and gullible kids in school (at least I was innocent and gullible), we were spoon-fed the sanitized Hallmark Card version of Thanksgiving:

The kind, generous, ultra-religious Pilgrims - - out of the goodness of their hearts - - spent days preparing a sumptuous Thanksgiving feast and invited the neighboring Indians over to share the unforgettable banquet. They dined on succulent turkey, sweet potatoes, French's original green bean casserole, dinner rolls with cranberry jam, and pumpkin pie topped with Cool Whip.

They exchanged gifts and recipes. The Indians taught the Pilgrims about the limitless wonders of maize. They prayed together and then joined hands and sang a rousing rendition of Kumbaya.

And they all lived happily ever after in absolute unity among purple mountain majesties and amber waves of grain.

 


In more recent years, the liberal historical revisionists have given us a grim and harrowing Thanksgiving tale of raw realism:

The Pilgrims - - an uncouth, bloodthirsty band of European white supremacist men and their skanky white women - - arrived in America with ill-intent. They invaded the peaceful domain of Indian Territory - plundered the  villages, trampled the teepees, chopped down the trees, polluted the water, claimed the Indian's land, imprisoned the Indian braves, raped the squaws, and gave everyone syphilis and inferiority complexes.

Within a few short generations, the pitifully few remaining Indian tribes were confined to squalid Arizona reservations - - living in unairconditioned Airstream trailers and using their meager government subsidies to buy cheap whiskey and Kentucky Fried Chicken.

 

Take your pick, comrades.  Believe whatever version you like. But while you're chowing down that delectable Thanksgiving meal this week, just remember that  without the white man's aggression and ingenuity - you'd be wearing buffalo robes and living in teepees. And eating maize, whatever the heck that is.

Hopefully I won't be scalped by irate readers. I meant no harm. Honest Injun.

Thankfully yours, Jon

GRIM REALITY

 I'm not in the mood to candy-coat my blog and write what you want to hear, rather than what I'd like to say. I'm tired of trying to be "upbeat" when in the grimness of raw reality I'm wallowing in depths of acute depression.
I've been posting a lot of reruns on my blog lately, solely because they are more palatable to read than the present horrifying realms of my existence. 

I'm not in the mood to hear about saccharine Thanksgiving blessings and gratefulness and prayers, and sumptuous holiday meals with fantastic families and friends.

So how was my Thanksgiving?

Somewhere between the Twilight Zone and Dante's ten circles of hell. Thanksgiving week was one of the worst of my entire life.
In a proverbial nutshell - - I had no heat, no hot water, and no working oven. My numerous health issues were so bad that I honestly didn't think I'd live through the weekend (no exaggeration). My physical maladies are getting terrifying.

And it was the coldest November week I can remember. I've said this numerous previous times, but I'll say it again:
I always thought Tennessee was a mild southern state. If I ever knew it had six month winters with ice floes and penguins, I would never have moved here.

The house that I live in is so unbearably cold, damp, and drafty that words can't adequately describe it. It's like being in an igloo with the air conditioner on.

It was so cold last Monday (Nov. 22, I think) that I made an emergency trip to town to buy a space heater and an electric blanket (my old electric blanket literally burned up last winter).

They're no longer called electric blankets. They are now called heated blankets. I suppose "electric" sounds too lethal.

The temperature dropped to 16 degrees (Fahrenheit) on Monday night. The heated blanket kept me and the two cats very cozy.

My furnace? Stops working every time the weather gets cold. Just like clockwork. This time, I STRONGLY suspect that some air ducts have been damaged by the 'possums that rudely reside under the house. I have to crawl under there to check it out, but presently I'm not in the mood.....

My water heater? The tale is too long to tell. I'll simply say that the heater was improperly installed (before I moved here) and is located in an EXTREMELY difficult place to access. I plan to get a new thermostat - which seems to be the problem. 

The oven? It needs a new heating element, which I can easily (?) install - but I'll have to order it online.

Thanksgiving? I ate tuna sandwiches. To hell with a sumptuous holiday meal. I had a pork roast, which I made in the slow cooker on Thanksgiving night - with potatoes, carrots, and onions. Ate it on Friday and it lasted all weekend.

That was my Thanksgiving week. I have only revealed a very TINY fraction of my problems and woes. If I ever told the truth about everything, you would be completely astounded. 

Most of the time I'm so frazzled and stressed that I can't think clearly. I often feel that I'm losing (what's left of) my mind. I lay in bed at night listening to my heart pound ninety times a minute - and wonder how I manage to stay alive.

It wouldn't be a complete blog post without photos, would it?
Despite the frigid weather and my rapidly crumbling life, I managed to crawl through the back yard forest and take some pictures.

 

Most of the lovely foliage is now gone, and the forest is as bleak, bare, and barren as my soul.

I'm (very) hesitant to post this "selfie", because I look like Bigfoot's ugly brother. I've aged twenty years since I moved to the wilderness.
My El Cheapo digital camera only has a ten second timer.
I had to prop the camera on a piece of wood, set the timer, and then run like hell to get within camera range. It took about five tries (I kept slipping on the mud).

The nearby hills can be seen, now that the foliage is gone.

My Thanksgiving roast in the slow cooker (picture taken before it was cooked)

Comments are disabled for this post. Hell, very few people ever bother to leave comments on my blog, anyway......

THE DAY AFTER

 

This will undoubtedly be posted after midnight, so it will officially be the day after Thanksgiving. 

I initially wanted to write about the horrible thing that happened to me on my trip to town last Tuesday, but I'll save it for my next post.
It will give you something to look forward to.

Thanksgiving is over already?? Heck, I still have two pumpkins left from Halloween. Time is rudely eluding me and I don't like it.

My Turkey Day was completely mundane and embarrassingly boring. As much as I love turkey (I could eat it every day) I decided to buy a ham instead (it's easier to prepare). Then I suddenly realized that I had a roasted chicken in the fridge, so I decided to eat that instead. With stuffing, asparagus, and cranberries.

Since I'm here all alone, it doesn't matter what I eat - - or when. I'll have the ham this weekend. It'll last a long time. 

Lately I've been obsessed with eating apples accompanied by peanut butter and caramel topping (the kind of topping you put on ice cream). And the peanut butter has to be crunchy. 

Thanksgiving Day was sunny and fairly mild - but strangely hazy and rather surrealistic. And there was ample gunfire from the hunters. I thought they might take off a day for Thanksgiving. Hell, they must already have their turkeys.... 

Snow (yes, snow) is predicted for Monday night, but I'll believe it when I see it. The snow predictions around here are not always accurate.

The photos I took on Thanksgiving are far from good, but I'll inflict you with a few anyway. 

 

My ham
(I knew this would enthrall you)

 

My festive red dinnerware

(red isn't my favorite color but I thought I'd be deliciously daring)

 

A glimpse of the back "yard"

Now that the trees are bare, I can see the neighboring "mountain" from my bedroom window

Bosco savoring the view

It starts getting dark at around 4:30 now

Blogger has been making it difficult for me to center my text.
Also, it's still impossible for me to leave comments on blogs that have settings for comments to appear on popup windows.
I haven't been able to alleviate the "glitch".

 

 

LESS THAN A WEEK AWAY

 Thanksgiving is less than a week away!

Have you decided what six people you will be inviting for dinner? Have you strategically measured the safe distance between each guest who will be sitting at your disinfected table?

Despite the prospect of disagreeable November weather, will you be dining outside?
Have you decided what festive Thanksgiving mask you'll be wearing?
Will your turkey be wearing a mask?

Don't panic. These questions are rhetorical. I'm merely throwing out  unimportant tidbits for you to ponder.
You're very fortunate that - lately - I've been politely keeping 99 per cent of my real thoughts to myself.

Actually, I think many people are secretly delighted that Thanksgiving is banned (restricted?). No massive preparations, no hectic traveling, no relatives that you hate, no annoying children (admit it - they're annoying....)

Methinks the detrimental shadow of Big Brother is making us less thankful every day....

So, do I have anything to be thankful for this year?
Yes - I'm extremely thankful that I learned how to make homemade booze. It has immensely enhanced the rural purgatory in which I'm ensconced.

In fact, I'm delightfully under the influence as I write this...

I'm thankful that six discerning people liked my piano video in the previous post. They have exquisite taste for appreciating my talents and creativity.

Did I ever mention that my piano recordings are consistently my most unpopular blog posts? It's true. Unfortunately true. Disconcertingly true.

Ironically, when I posted a half-naked photo of gay retro porn star Peter Berlin, my blog got nearly 1,500 hits (not in one day).

When I published a post entitled Elizabeth Taylor's Pussy it got over 5,000 hits (it was completely innocent - check out my sidebar on popular posts).

So what's my point? Smut sells.

These trees are only a few feet from my bedroom. If they ever toppled onto the house, I'd be toast.
 

Last weekend there was a horrendous windstorm. Way after midnight, when I was in bed, I heard several enormous nearby crashes. I figured something happened near the house, but was too lazy to get up.
In the morning I discovered that several large trees were blocking the narrow road that winds past my place. Several workmen (thankfully) arrived and removed them with the aide of chainsaws.
No damage to my property (thankful, again).

It's hunting season! Let the slaying begin!

Yesterday (Friday) there was more gunfire around here than I've ever heard before. Non-stop all afternoon and early evening.

I ventured in the woods for a brief walk (camera in hand) and kept fervently praying that a myopic hunter wouldn't mistake me for Bambi.

Now that the trees are bare, I'm able to see the nearby mountain. Okay, technically it's only a hill. Heck, I've seen bigger boobs when I was in Hollywood.

I used to have a decent view of the neighboring cow pasture, but with all the rain this year everything is overgrown and the pasture is obscured.

Very few leaves are left in the forest

I like this mystical shaft of sunlight.

My El Cheapo digital camera has a ten-second timer. I had to set the timer, put the camera on the porch railing, grab the 25 pound pumpkin, run like hell to the porch swing, sit down and try to look relaxed and pretty. All for you.
It wasn't easy.

SHADOW CATS

Scratch (above) and Bosco (below) on the porch, contemplating their long shadows. 

 

note -

I'm still having lots of trouble leaving comments on blogs that have popup comment windows. It's a computer "glitch".....I'm not in the mood to explain details now.

THANKFUL???

I've been enviously reading other blogs, which have been giving glorious Disneyesque descriptions of Thanksgiving - - - of sumptuous turkey feasts shared with a Hallmark Movie cast of family and friends.

I can give you the Alfred Hitchcock version of Thanksgiving. This week has been so rotten that I get physically ill just thinking about it - - and my only two plausible options are suicide or selling this frickin' place.
I probably won't do either, but they presently linger at the top of my list of Reasonable Solutions.

I plan to recount my woes in a future blog post, but today I'm too mentally and physically exhausted to do it.

Despite all of my troubles, and the grim fact that I don't have a goddamn thing to be thankful for, I decided to make a fairly decent dinner - - as a stark contrast to the usual sandwiches, tuna, and pizza that I've been eating.

No turkey here today. But I had some chicken in the freezer. I thawed it, doused it with oil, paprika, and herbs, and tossed it in the oven. Then I made green beans with onions, and yams with cinnamon and brown sugar.

The cake that I had planned to bake never materialized.

Despite the devastation of a dire week, I managed to preserve documentation with my El Cheapo camera.

In layman's terms, that means I took some pictures. 

Thanksgiving dawn

 Chicken, anyone? 

I made four of these, so I have enough to eat tomorrow

 Migration, anyone?

Yesterday morning I heard a loud chattering ruckus outside. When I opened the back door I saw thousands and thousands of birds in the treetops.

They suddenly swooped up all at once and took off. It happened in only a few seconds and I hardly had time to snap some pictures.   

  As they were leaving.....

A strange photo

difficult to discern 

My cat Bosco has been very sick all week with a respiratory virus. He crawled under the covers and stuck his head out - so I put a vaporizer by the bed.  I've been doing this several times a day and it's been helping him.

 My other cat Kitzee (also known as Scratch) comtemplating a weed

A few nights ago there was a horrendous rainstorm. I opened the door to look out for a few minutes - then I went to bed. I had NO IDEA that Kitzee slipped outside when I wasn't looking! I slept for about five hours.

When I got up, I was stunned to discover that Kitzee had vanished. I searched everywhere. I finally opened the back door and there she was - - completely DRENCHED! She looked like a used dishrag.

I dried her with a towel, brushed her, and put her next to a space heater - where she slept for over an hour. 

She recovered beautifully, but it was a traumatic experience for a fourteen-year-old cat. 

 Weird glimpses of a chilly, hazy Thanksgiving Day in my back yard

I'm glad the damn holiday is over 

NOTE: 

I haven't been responding to your comments lately because I'm in bed with a bad back, an injured elbow, and a sick cat (Bosco) - and I'm typing on my laptop with one finger.  It's extremely awkward.

THE DAY AFTER

It's the day after Thanksgiving.
I just realized that I've been living in this abode in the wilderness for four years now. I moved in on Thanksgiving Day in 2014.

I moved to Tennessee in October, 2014 and stayed with my cousin until I found a suitable place to buy.
The price was right and it was located far away from annoying humanity, so it was suitable.

All of my possessions were in storage in Texas. After I moved in to the aforementioned abode, the movers informed me that - because of the upcoming holidays - they wouldn't be able to deliver my stuff until mid-January, at the earliest.

So, for over two months I lived in a completely empty house - no furniture, no clothing except for what I brought in a suitcase. I had a folding metal chair and a tiny table. I slept on an incredibly scuzzy, ancient reclining chair that the previous owners had left behind.

When the movers finally hauled my possessions to Tennessee in late January, 2015, I was horrified to discover that they "lost" an enormous amount of my things (for which I have never been reimbursed) - including furniture, antique books, art, rugs, kitchen items, lamps, and a large chest containing tools.

They also "lost" all of my diaries and journals - which I had meticulously kept for 40 years (since I was 10)
AND all of my mother's vast collection of piano music. The journals and music were my most treasured possessions and meant more to me than life itself -  without them my soul has died.

Fortunately they didn't "lose" my two pianos, but I haven't touched the pianos since I moved here. I no longer give a shit. The piano - and my former life as a musician - is now gone.

It wasn't my initial purpose to write a depressing post, but I'm simply remembering all these things.....
with extreme bitterness.

My simple Thanksgiving meal yesterday (roasted chicken) turned out to be fantastic! I didn't put any effort into it and wasn't expecting much, but it was absolutely delicious. And I had enough left over to eat again today.

I just finished having a cup of cappuccino and a piece of cake.

Yesterday was gorgeous with golden sunshine. Today is very dark, dreary, and misty. The photo at the top of this post is of the sun this morning - valiantly making an effort to appear - but it was soon shrouded in mists and  finally extinguished by clouds.

Did anyone see the full moon last night?
It was brilliantly bright and so impressive that I went out at 2:00 a.m. to gaze at it for a long time - until a band of nearby coyotes finally encouraged me to go back inside.

Is anyone thoroughly tired of hearing about Black Friday? The media is completely obsessed with it.

Black Friday is the most unappealing advertising ploy that I can ever remember. For me, it conjures up images of plagues, doom, depression, and despair......

.....which is a very apt description of the Christmas shopping season.

THANKSGIVING

One of the (many) advantages of living alone is that I can do whatever I want during the holidays. Or, preferably, do nothing at all.

I initially planned to have a nice meal for Thanksgiving - mainly because I get weary of consuming frozen pizza and French fries.

I love turkey, but decided it was too much trouble to make this time around. On my most recent shopping expedition I forgot to buy sweet potatoes. And I couldn't find cranberries or pumpkin pie anywhere.
Were they sold out, or simply non-existent?

So, I'm going to have roasted chicken with baked potatoes and green beans. And chocolate cake.

Today was cold, brisk, and gorgeous. A walk in the backyard woods yielded more opportunities for photos than I had expected.
Brilliant sunshine ignited the remaining foliage with a surprising amount of color for waning November.

The sun just rising above the forest trees.

 The cow meadow adjacent to my property. Nothing much going on there.

View from the back porch. 

 I've admittedly been in a very dark and melancholic mood for a long time, but the beauty of nature always does its best to revive me.

Thanksgiving blessings to everyone.