Friday, September 16, 2016

TRUE CONFESSIONS: ALCOHOL



In some of the comments on my recent posts, several readers had questions about a few things that I'd like to address: alcohol, happiness, and leukemia. 
It would be impossible to cover everything in one post.
Let's start with alcohol.
Here's the first question:

Jon, do you drink most days?

That, of course, is a polite way of asking Are you an alcoholic?

The short, simple answer is No -
which immediately generates the  scripted response:
You're obviously in denial, which positively indicates that you're an alcoholic.  

In absolute honesty - and undoubtedly to my great benefit - I don't have an addictive personality. It is not in my nature to depend on anything.

Actually, if I drank "most days", my blog wouldn't be this damn good (smile).

Would a detailed historical supplement be of any value here?

There were many times in my distant past when my wild and reckless lifestyle necessitated the heavy use of booze. I couldn't have indulged in all my outrageous adventures (not to mention rampant promiscuity) without it.

During my early years in Hollywood, my penchant for alcohol was legendary. It got to a point where I would mix outrageous - and potentially lethal - "cocktails": mixtures of whiskey, rum, malt liquor, and pills (sleeping pills or tranquilizers) all in one large glass.

For many reasons too tedious to explore in a blog, I had an explosive desire to live on the edge - - I craved danger.....which was enhanced with an underlying death wish.

I vividly remember one night, when I was about twenty-two. I drank an entire bottle of vodka and it wasn't enough to get me high. That's when I panicked and knew I was well on the road to alcoholism.

I stopped drinking immediately - - and nursed a bleeding duodenal ulcer for over a year.

I had bouts throughout my early life when I would drink heavily for awhile - and stop immediately with no regrets or ramifications whatsoever. I've gone years without even thinking of alcohol.

I've never had withdrawal symptoms, never required rehab, never had cravings or "relapses".
I'm not the type person who needs sympathy or hand-holding, intervention or pity. I'm not into analysis or  psychobabble shit.

An interjection here to say that - despite my wild early drinking - I've never really liked "hard" alcohol. I prefer wine or beer. After I left California (in my early 30's) I never drank hard liquor again.

My years in Texas were the worst of my entire life. I moved there solely to be near my retired parents. I took care of my mother for four years after my father's death (in 2005). My Mom died in 2009.

To put it in a proverbial nutshell - I had more problems in Texas than anyone would ever believe. It was one devastating nightmare after another and I was eventually destroyed - physically, emotionally, and financially. I resumed occasional drinking again simply to cope.
I never thought I'd get out of there alive.

Let's Fast-Forward to the present:

An alcoholic would find it impossible to exist here in rural Tennessee. I live in a "dry" county, which means (for those of you in Mongolia) that no alcohol is sold. Thanks to the pious Baptists.


There's one tiny store that sells beer (beer only) for a high price. I usually buy a twelve-pack of beer, which lasts  a month...or more.

I seldom drink and don't even really enjoy beer anymore. I'll usually guzzle two (or three) of them before my monthly drive into town - just to quell my nerves.

And don't give me any flack about drinking and driving. The remnants of danger and my long-ago death wish still exist......

If you imagine I'm sitting here alone on a mountaintop while guzzling myself into an alcoholic oblivion, you're wrong.

I often exaggerate the extent of my drinking in this blog - and utilize it in a humorous light (well, at least I think it's humorous...) Don't take it too seriously.

Have I said enough?




Check out the harvest moon on my other blog

http://cabinetofcurioustreasures.blogspot.com 

22 comments:

  1. A brave and commendable post. I had surmised your drinking rules from prior entries, Jon. Your temperance is admirable. Mine is not, and that makes me an authority. This is typical of men my age whose nerves are shot. We have lived through many traumas --war, recession, inflation, great hardships and little soft ships-- and most heinous of all, clogged streets full of drivers who seem to be slipping in and out of consciousness. I know you are not among the latter. However, a glass of wine before venturing out in the car helps me understand other drivers --and patiently not honk at them when they sit at green lights, perhaps waiting for them to get even greener. Strangely, or coincidentally, these moments of forced serenity are most frequent when I'm on my way to see my therapist --where I'm taught to be kind to others and myself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've never been kind to myself, Geo - so why should I be kind to others? (*SMILE*)

      My nerves have been shot my entire life. Actually, the times I require alcohol the most are always when I'm forced to be in public situations. I almost never enjoy being souses when I'm alone. I love my own company and feel secure with me.

      Delete
    2. I meant to say "soused", not "souses"

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. John, I hope you didn't mind my using your question. I truly thought it was interesting and I felt the need to expound.

      Delete
  3. I never thought you were! Your sarcastic writing and humor is great. I love sarcasm and try to comment in the same. The college I went to was in a dry county. The most popular place was just at the county line that only sold beer to college students. They made a fortune. Being a new person here, I know nothing of your Texas days, and would never want to pry. But you are alive today and entertaining many!So, Hooray!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm always delighted to know that my humor is appreciated. Actually, I never purposely try to be funny - - I simply write exactly like I think. And then I regret it later....

      If you want to share the Rock Hudson story here..or on your blog..please do so. Or at my email address:
      jayveerhapsody@aol.com.

      Delete
  4. If you were an alcoholic you would have had to fill the car with beer and make that dangerous drive once a week or rent a u-haul once a month--LOL! I still worry about the legal ramifications of being pulled over after drinking a few beers. Don't want you locked up!

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    Replies
    1. I thought about making my own moonshine, but it's just too damn much trouble.
      And I do worry about DUIs....I'll be careful.

      Delete
  5. I never even considered the possibility that you were a big-time drinker. If that were the case, your brain cells wouldn't be functioning so beautifully. :)

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    Replies
    1. Susan, my brain cells stopped working about twenty years ago - - but I greatly appreciate your compliment. I need all the encouragement I can get...

      Delete
  6. Admirable people who were alcoholics:
    Aleister Crowley
    Charles Dickens
    Hemingway
    Poe (obviously)
    Howard Hughes
    van Gogh
    President Grant
    It goes on and on. What's the issue, alcoholic or not? What matters is what you produce, what you give to others, eh?
    Who gives a fuck how much you drink?
    What matters is who you are. We all do whatever we have to to get by in this world. '

    Cheers,
    Mike

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I absolutely agree with your input. Tchaikovsky was a very heavy drinker - - and look at the glorious music he produced.

      I never knew Dickens drank.

      Delete
  7. I don't like beer, only wine or hard booze. and there are so many alcoholics on my mother's side...usually 2 drinks and I am asleep.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I never really liked beer, but drink it simply to get a buzz. I prefer wine...and I really miss it.

      There were no alcoholics in my Mom's family - but there were one or two on my Dad's side.

      Delete
  8. You may be shocked to know I take a little sip or two everyday.

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    Replies
    1. I would have never suspected it.....

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  9. Am I an awful person because I am disappointed that you aren't an alcoholic? That was part of your charm!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If it's any consolation, I'm not an alcoholic...but I can be a heckuva drinker when given the opportunity.

      Drunk or sober, I have charm.

      Delete
  10. I've never suspected you had/have a drinking 'problem' ... probably on account, I enjoy a glass (or two) of Cabernet each night, simply to cope. That, and sleep.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would kill for a glass of wine.....

      Delete
  11. you can order wine online
    and have it delivered
    I haven't tried it
    maybe that nice ups man
    will show up
    and you can offer him a drink ;)

    ReplyDelete

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