Tuesday, April 24, 2018


Someone (thanks, Myra) gave me the link to a blog which features questions of all sorts. Since I love Q & As, it immediately piqued my interest.

Sunday Stealing boasts that "we steal all kinds of questions from every corner of the blogosphere."

Ironically, they have a large "Copyright: all rights reserved" warning at the top of their page.

Here's my question:
If your questions are stolen, how the heck can you copyright them??

Risking a long prison sentence, I've decided to lift their latest questions, which are listed under the heading "IF"

1. If you could eliminate a single type of insect in the world, which would it be?

Only one?? I have a list of fifty. Or more.
How about spiders.....and I'll throw in scorpions as a close second (having lived in West Texas, I know what I'm talking about). Should I be proper and call them arthropods?

2. If you could have personally witnessed one event in history, what would you want to have seen?

I would have wanted to see something colossal and Biblical - - like a Cecil B. DeMille epic.
Probably the fall of ancient Babylon in 539 BCE, with Belshazzar's feast and the writing on the wall.
Or the parting of the Red Sea.
Or the raising of Lazarus from the dead.
Or the last supper and the Garden of Gethsemane.
(that's not asking much, is it?) 

3. If you had to paint your entire home inside and out a single color other than white, what would you pick?

Probably a camouflage color, so no one could find it.
Actually, if I couldn't use white I'd probably use an off-white. Or a very light beige. 

4. If you could decide what will be written on your gravestone, what would you have inscribed.

"Wish You Were Here".
"Hell's Not As Hot As I Thought It Would Be."
"Don't Laugh - - You're Next." 

5. If you could have a secret listening device in any one room in the world, what room would you put it in?

The bathrooms in Buckingham Palace.
Don't groan - - it's all I could come up with. 
6. If you could have any music group that no longer exists play at your birthday party, who would you want?

First of all, the only thing I hate more than birthdays is birthday parties. Well, hell, how about the Beatles?
Or maybe Franz Liszt, solo. 

Oh! Here's another one -
Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians 

7. If you were to perform in the circus, what would you do?

Let's see,
I hate clowns, so that's out. I'd be scared witless on the trapeze or high wire.
What's left? I'd probably be cleaning up elephant shit.

8. If you could master one type of cuisine, which one would you choose?

I'd rather eat it than master it. I'm not "into" fine dining or fancy cuisine and have no interest in mastering it. But I'd probably enjoy decorating cakes.
9. If you had to have one piece of music softly playing in your mind for the rest of your life, what would you want it to be?

If I was forced to have only one piece of music in my mind the rest of my life, it would shorten my life considerably. Not to mention drive me completely insane.

But, I would probably choose my favorite sequence from the first act of Puccini's opera Turandot: when the crowd of Peking is chanting to the rising moon, as they await the execution of the Persian Prince. It is overwhelmingly exotic, mesmerizing, enchanting, and haunting.

10. If you could ensure one single personality trait in your children, what would you want it be?

I don't have any children that I know of.

I know what you're all thinking. "That sissy never produced any offspring!"
.......but you just might be surprised......

But I digress. How about honesty and confidence?
Honesty frees the soul. And life without confidence will completely destroy you. I speak from experience.
11. If you could resolve any single dispute, anywhere in the world, what would you solve?

I'm not sure about disputes, but I would definitely like to eliminate the intense, over-powering,  absolutely insane blind HATE that is presently rampant in our country today. It has erupted like a deadly plague and is spreading like wildfire.

I won't elaborate. It's too dangerous. 
12. If you could be a guest on any talk show, which would you like to be on?

There aren't any present talk shows that I'd want to be on. The era of good talk shows is long gone.

13. If you were to be a news correspondent posted to any foreign country, where would you like to go?

Hey, how about Iran? Or North Korea?
But I'm jesting, of course. The world is a dangerous place and I don't think I'd want to be a foreign correspondent.
Unless it was in Bora Bora. 
14. If you could have been on the Supreme court for any single case in its history, which would you select?

I am not sufficiently qualified to be on the Supreme Court and I'd probably be too biased.
Of course, everybody on the Supreme Court is biased, anyway..... 

15. If you could pick one person from history to live next door to you, who would you pick?

How about Helen Keller? Seems like she wouldn't cause any problems.

But I might choose Marcel Proust. A quiet, eccentric, intelligent loner. He stays in his cork-lined room writing most of the time. 
And only occasionally invites unconventional guests for late-night "encounters"......


  1. #4? #15? You're such a stitch, Jon! :)))

    Absolutely. I agree (that) there are no good talk shows any longer. Talk about bias! That, and I enjoyed your answer about instilling confidence in your (hypothetical) offspring. How different my life might have been, had I in my teens even a smidgen of self worth!

    Chuckling at your 'copyright' observation on Bev's page. I actually own the book (If: Questions for the Game of Life) together with its 2 sequels.

    1. #4 is one of my favorites. Occasionally I come up with some good things. Perhaps I should be copyrighted.

      People who read my blog (I'm talking in general) probably have no idea how profoundly LOW my confidence has been my entire life. I've seldom had an ounce of self-worth, no matter what I accomplished. It's spooky. And it's largely the fault of my father.

  2. Some fun answers. I would have to think about these some, but the bug I'd definitely get rid of would be thousand leggers. God I hate those fast suckers....there disgusting looking and look dirty.

    1. My initial thought (about insects) was mosquitoes and flies - but they don't scare me - they're just annoying. I am TERRIFIED of spiders (and scorpions).....and those horrible thousand leggers...

  3. Jon, great answers all. I'll just address #10 because I'm going through some medical issues and HORRENDOUS household plumbing problems. First the HW heater failed, then a leak happened underground or under this crazy old farmhouse and I've been weakened. What I have left is a small residue of my former strength and a determination to internalize this quote as axiomatic:
    "A life without confidence will completely destroy you." --Jon Varga

    I have written it prominently in my journal.

    1. Geo - I'm truly sorry to hear about your medical issues - and I have no doubt that they are being compounded by the horrible plumbing issues. I had a lot of plumbing problems in Texas and was forced to do more fix-it-yourself research than I'd care to remember. I'm keeping my fingers crossed here in Tennessee.....

      When it comes to confidence (or lack of it) I speak from bitter experience. It is the one thing I would have wanted to have - and a complete lack of it did indeed destroy me.

      I hope that your plumbing issues will (somehow) be resolved soon.

  4. No 6----George Strait or Wlllie Nelson or both and yes I know they are both still around. I like your choice of color for your house.

    1. I think Willie Nelson would definitely enhance a party - and I like George Strait, too.

    2. I'm sure my father would have chosen Hank Williams.

  5. Those kittens at the top are the cutest things ever ! Great answers with so many being remarkably funny. Number 4 could be my favorite. Well, it's hard to say really since they're all good. Guy Lombardo and the Royal Canadians ? I had to google that since I didn't know who that was. I was thinking you made that up ( insert laugh )

    One more if question. If you could stop time, which age would you choose to be ?

    1. I've had that kitten photo in my files for years and finally decided to use it. They really are adorable.
      #4 (of the questions) is my favorite. Sometimes I make myself laugh.

      Guy Lombardo is always remembered in America for his New Year's Eve shows - and his famous rendition of Auld Lang Syne.

      Regarding your question -
      Of course, I'd love to be young, healthy, and good looking again - but I was FAR too immature, reckless, and thoughtless. I like myself better now that I'm aging.
      If I could stay at one age, I'd probably choose 40 - or somewhere in my early 40's.

  6. Copyright on stolen material--so funny! These were not your average questions, though. Really interesting. :)

  7. That copyright thing was really strange and the more I thought about it, the more ridiculous it seemed. I always enjoy answering the questions (well, most of them, anyway).

  8. I saw the Royal Canadians live at the Top of the World at Walt Disney World one time, Guy was dead already - but the band played on.
    I Loved
    "Wish You Were Here".
    "Hell's Not As Hot As I Thought It Would Be."
    "Don't Laugh - - You're Next."

    1. I had no idea the Royal Canadians continued after Guy's death. I wish I could have seen them.

      I thought up those epitaphs in only a few seconds and they made me laugh (which isn't easy).


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