Wednesday, February 24, 2016

DARK INTERLUDE


 Moonrise
 

I have recently been doing Hollywood posts in honor of Oscar week. This is a rude interruption to update my status here in the mundane mountain wilderness.

The wicked wintery weather has abated, turning into endless torrents of mud-inducing rain. It slacked off enough on Monday for me to make the dreaded trek into town. If nothing else, I now have sufficient supplies. And cat food. And litter (for the cats, not me).

I was plagued with alarming health issues all last week, which were so bad at times that I actually left a letter in case I dropped dead. I very seldom mention health issues in my blog, for two reasons:
1. It's unbecoming to selfishly bitch
and
2. Nobody really gives a rat's ass

After plying myself with aspirin and trying to lower my insanely high stress level, I'm presently feeling better....or at least adequate. Yesterday I forced myself to do a lot of long-neglected housework. My Texas house used to be absolutely spotless. Here in my remote Tennessee shack, I've been annoyingly indifferent.

Weather forecast:
Rain will continue today (Wednesday) and turn into snow by mid-afternoon.
If I'm still alive, I plan to make more homemade soup.

It's not quite dawn as I'm writing this. Earlier tonight there was a power outage. Imagine being totally isolated, surrounded by forests, with no lights anywhere. Fortunately there was a full moon (or nearly full) which kept peeking out from behind clouds. It was very windy and actually intriguingly beautiful. I went outside to watch the ever-changing midnight clouds and the evasive moon.

I was in the process of making coffee and toast just when the lights went out. Had to finish my midnight snack by candlelight. 

I'm not complaining. I love the wilderness, the solitude, the inspiring forces of nature..... 

Now, just before dawn, the power is miraculously back on. My cats are sleeping. The rain has stopped for the moment. It is getting colder. I'll patiently await the snow....
and I'll post a few more Hollywood stories later this week (as if anyone cares....).

an excerpt from Love Letters to Ghosts

IV
 
Listen to the distant song
of the wandering wind.
You will almost hear it
whisper my name.
Things once forgotten
breathe in unison
with the soft touch of your memory.
Imagine a gentle light
sifting through parted clouds,
bathing the broken paths
of passing storms.


Songs of remembrance are like that.
They expunge the haze of faded hours,
heal the crush of broken days.
In unexpected moments
they ignite the sun's first splash of light
and dare to sing in unrehearsed gratitude.


It is there, in the dawn of yearning everafters
that the cathedral of my love will embrace you.


Jon V.

 

 

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

MELTDOWN BEFORE DAWN



 








Well, not exactly a meltdown. It was more like freaking out (is that term still in existence?). I'm generally calm and reasonably patient, but occasionally I  lose it and freak. It depends on how much I'm provoked. And how many unpleasant things are overwhelming me at once. Tonight I felt overwhelmed.

Perhaps I'm merely tired of winter. And cold. And snow. There was more snow on Valentine's Day (and for those of you who read my previous post - yes, I did have pizza on Valentine's Day).

 Valentine's Day

Since Tennessee - God, will I ever learn how to spell it?? - is considered to be a southern state, I assumed that the winters would be mild here. I expected snow and fairly cold winters - but my expectations were also fanciful and -perhaps - delusional.

I had envisioned this mountain wilderness to be inhabited by Heidi, Old Yeller, and Bambi, with the Waltons throwing innocuous snowballs and the Von Trapps singing Edelweiss. 
Instead, I feel like a member of the Donner Party, The Forlorn Hope. I'm fastening snow shoes out of birch bark and imagining the cats roasting on sticks over an open fire.

Speaking of cats, in the middle of my meltdown tonight I accidentally tripped over the cat food dishes that I keep in the kitchen. Two full dishes of food and a bowel of water went everywhere. It's not the first time. Nor the second time.

Then, my laptop refused to accept my computer password. I couldn't get online for over an hour. This caused genuine panic. I finally figured out it was the Num Lock key. 

Then I remembered that Bosco had been messing around near my keyboard earlier. Damn cat! Bosco is the same culprit who knocked the "i" key off my computer keyboard a few months ago. No, it isn't fixed.

 Bosco

And then there is the nightly visitation of the coyotes. At around 3:00 a.m. almost every night a pack of coyotes comes on my property and seemingly surrounds the house - howling and yelping and making bone-chilling taunting sounds. They never stay for very long.

I had to put some important letters in the mail box, so I summoned my courage and decided to go just before the crack of dawn. It's a very long walk, down an icy, muddy, tedious hillside (mountainside) and I always dread it immensely. I put on my heaviest winter coat and took a walking stick, cell phone, and flashlight.

Just as I got to the box I heard the coyotes howling again, but this time in the distance. I had a major adrenaline rush as I was laboring up the steep hill to get back to the house.

I've thrived on danger most of my life. It's some kind of a pseudo-masochistic thrill that I crave. I'd probably be lost without it.

More of my Hollywood stories coming up. I know you're enthralled at the prospect.


Check out my Oscar Fashion Bombs at
http://cabinetofcurioustreasures.blogspot.com

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

ROMANCE AND DEATH ON A WINTER NIGHT





Snow again. Monday night, Tuesday, today. Finally dwindling to flurries this afternoon. Soft, wayward, drifting flakes. Annoyingly cold. My fingers and toes are numb. Everything is very still, except for the occasional squabble of hungry birds - and random, distant blasts from hunter's rifles.

It's 20 degrees (Fahrenheit) this afternoon. The nights are bitterly cold. This is the coldest house I ever lived in (ha, that's what I said about my Texas house, too). Bosco always sleeps under the covers, which helps keep me warm.

my back yard this morning

I summoned the courage to drive into town last Friday. Got groceries in anticipation of the predicted storm. Very early this morning I made soup from the turkey leftovers. I'm actually going to make two pots of it. I forgot to buy bouillon and V-8, which always enhances the flavor, but what the hell - I'm the only guest. And I never complain about my cooking.


 This is just before I started cooking the soup. Raw veggies and onions floating on top (it looks much better now...)

Had an unbelievably bad migraine last night. My vision was so impaired that I couldn't see. I get migraines frequently. My mother used to get them.
The migraine induced a panic attack. I'm miles from civilization. An ambulance could never get here on icy mountain roads.....
I'm really f***k up. Or screwed up. No matter how you look at it. 



Paris, snow, romance, death

I immensely calmed my nerves by watching  a performance of La Boheme.
( a snowy, winter story of romance....and impending death - - what could be more appropriate on a frigid winter night?).
This was the 2009 film version, with Anna Netrebko and Rolando Villazon.
(it's available on YouTube)

Villazon is not exactly my favorite Rudolpho....
but Netrebko is exquisite as Mimi...I'm hopelessly in love with her.

And as for all of you little sniveling, nitpicking Netrebko critics - - you're just jealous.


Anna Netrebko and Rolando Villazon

Here's an old, raw & unedited rehearsal tape of me playing shreds of music from La Boheme. (music by Puccini, in case you didn't know).
Taped in my San Angelo music studio on a broiling 110 degree (Fahrenheit) summer day. 
I was way past my prime and hopelessly out of practice, but - what the hell.....