Wednesday, June 20, 2018


I had an incredible migraine headache this morning, which was probably the result of all the crap I went through yesterday.

Yesterday I was forced to drive to town, because I was completely out of supplies: no food, no cat food or litter, no toilet paper.

An Aside:
Several of my most delicate readers were shocked when - on a previous blog post - I happened to mention toilet paper.
My response is to lighten up and face reality. We ALL use it. And if you don't, I sure as hell would like to know why not. 

Anyway, I drove to town yesterday.

The first thing I did was to pack an entire month of full trash bags into the car.
There is NO trash pickup in this rural place. You have to haul all your trash by yourself to the Trash Center in town.

It's a helluva traumatic situation for me, since I live a zillion miles (give or take) from town and only go about once a month. I cringe every time I have to stuff huge, smelly trash bags into my car. 

It's even worse now that it's 90 degrees (that's Fahrenheit, for those of you in Zurich). The interior of the car is about 567 degrees and the odious bags of trash start to decompose in about two minutes.

So I'm on the narrow, winding, perilous mountain road - in the proverbial middle of nowhere - surrounded by smelly bags of garbage.....

.........(these dots serve to build up suspense)..........

....when suddenly an emergency light starts blinking on the dashboard - informing me that I'm nearly out of gas!

I'm seldom prone to panic - - but this time I panicked freely.  
Driving on this mountain road terrifies me on a good day when nothing's going wrong. My terror quadrupled knowing that I'm nearly gasless with rotting bags of trash. And there's nowhere on the road to pull over.

All I could do was keep going, coast as much as possible, and pray to a God who's probably laughing at me. 

To make an incredibly long and sweaty story short (which, for me, is an impossibility) I made it to the outskirts of town - but still had to travel on another endlessly long road that leads to the service station.

Out of nowhere, a car pulls in front of me and is moving about 5 mph. I'm almost riding her bumper (yes, it was a woman) and I'm screaming "Go!Go!Go! Gooooooooo!!!!!!!"
I did everything to keep from ramming her car and sending her into a ditch. 

I ran out of gas JUST as I reached the service station and had to push and coast the car to the nearest gas pump. 

After I got gas, I went to the Trash Center to get rid of the festering trash bags.
As fate would have it, they were CLOSED for an unknown reason! The gate was locked, but the workers were there and cars were lined up, waiting to get in.

I wasn't about to wait in line for an hour and run out of gas again. I took off and went shopping at Walmart and the supermarket. 

After I went shopping, I returned to the Trash Center and....... wouldn't you know it.....the gate was STILL locked and a bunch of cars were STILL waiting to get in!!!!!!!!!

I yelled "SHIT!!!!!" and a few other more colorful things, made a screeching U turn, and headed home. 

I still have all the bags of trash, which I hauled out of the car and dumped in the garage. 

And I don't give a royal rat's ass if they stay there forever.


  1. Good god, I need a stiff one just from reading the ordeal.

    And how is anyone shocked by mentioning toilet paper? What the hell are they wiping with???? Pinecones?

    1. The people who were shocked were from foreign countries. So, what the heck do they use to wipe their asses in France??

      I need a stiff drink, too but they don't sell hard liquor here.

      I'M IN HELL, MADDIE!!!! SAVE ME!!!!

  2. what a pain in the butt to have to haul your own garbage. at least you got them out of your car. i hope you were able to dispose of them sooner rather than later.

    1. I really should get a burning permit and burn my own trash - - but I've never done that before and am afraid I'd start a forest fire.

  3. Why don't you buy you a little Ford Ranger to haul your trash in? They are good little trucks and last forever. I'm sure it is frustrating to have to haul it period. This small town businesses close their doors at noon. Hard to get used to after living in San Antonio 31 years. Hope your headache has disappeared.

    1. I like living in a rural area, Paula, but it is EXTREMELY difficult getting used to all the inconveniences.
      I had a pickup truck in Texas and figured that I wouldn't need one in Tennessee. Wow, was I wrong!!!

  4. Jon, I empathize. It seems when I'm due for an appointment or otherwise trying to hurry, that's when I get a driver ahead of me who seems to be slipping in and out of consciousness. The light turns green and they wait for it to get even greener. Or they're absorbed by something between the seats that's way more important than driving. We must possess ourselves in patience --alas!

    1. Geo - my patience is running short and my nerves are ripped to shreds.I'm starting to crumble under the weight of all the inconveniences that rural living has to offer. There are times when I crave to be in civilization again.

      Those lethargic drivers who don't want to move seem to be hanging around just waiting to annoy those of us who are in a HURRY.

  5. Jon and his tales of the Torture Road......and breathe. Don’t want to start a new rant but, cough, do you recycle in Tennessee? Most of us in the UK are quite sold on the process. Anything to reduce the amount of stuff that goes to landfills. We are only a small island after all. We do have weekly pickups with alternative stuff picked up on week 1 and week 2, other then food waste which is picked up weekly.

    I tend to take my glass/cans/paper and plastic to the village recycling centre, so that way the Parish Council gets the revenue from it rather then the bloodsucking local Council. By the way, deep breathe again, my transported materials don’t smell. I wash out all plastic, cans and glass as they are used up. Perhaps you could organise a small, safe incinerator or could a compost heap work for you? MaggieB

    1. I used to recycle when I lived in Texas. It was easy there. I haven't seen any recycling places here in Tennessee, but I'm sure they must have them. I could probably recycle some things and burn the rest.

  6. Why not just toss it over the mountains! I wouldn't think about having to be hauling my garbage off it's bad enough to have to push the can to the front to be picked up. They do charge you a fee to pick it up. I couldn't imagine taking it all the way to town. Take care, Jean

  7. They allow burn barrels here. The one that came with the house looked exactly like the ones my father used to use for trash. They're old oil barrels or something and weigh a ton. I had a grate for the top to catch any big sparks. But the damn thing rusted and broke in half. I had to have it hauled away and haven't bothered to replace it.


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