WINDING DOWN

 

 

 

Lazy, yawning August is winding down with only a few days left. The sultry summer days have tumbled away so quickly that I hardly had time to notice them.

August, September, October. These have always been my favorite months, my favorite time of year.
Perhaps I like August because I have many good memories associated with it. But there are also other reasons:
It is a languid, indifferent month -  seemingly tired of summer and waiting in anticipation of an inevitable change. Almost imperceptibly the days are slightly shorter, the light is subtly changing, shadows are growing longer. The weather is still hot but listless, shrugging with the knowledge that autumn waits on the horizon.

As I drink soothing glasses of amber iced tea, while reading old books of ghost stories - the distant rumble of thunder assures an awaiting bout of rain will eventually arrive. An unexpected breath of welcomed air rushes through the open window with a hint of life and a soothing scent of moisture. And I'm suddenly thinking of ripe pumpkins, intoxicating displays of autumn leaves, and spirits wandering in October realms.

Excuse me. I'm in a poetic mode. My sweet, romantic side is showing.

You didn't think I had one, did you?

I drove to town a few days ago. Wednesday? I can't remember. Had to buy an enormous supply of stuff, but didn't get nearly everything.

Cat complications.

I always feed my cats dry food, but also frequently give them canned food for variety and sort of a "snack". Bosco likes Friskies and Kitzee will only eat Meow Mix.
So I stock up on the canned cat food at Walmart. I bought a lot of it this time.
And......
when I got home the canned cat food wasn't in the car. It vanished. Must have been left at Walmart - thanks to the flustered, slightly confused female cashier wearing the frumpy plague mask.

This has happened to me at Walmart at least half a dozen times.

Why didn't you drive back and get the cat food, Jon?

Listen, comrade - the drive to town is so traumatic that it always takes two weeks for me to recover.
I wouldn't drive twice in one day if Jesus was in the Walmart parking lot handing out free tickets to heaven.

You gotta admit -
I'm dang funny even when I'm angry and frustrated. It's a gift.

Maybe I'll go again next week. If I drink enough homemade wine.

Photos, anyone?
Summer is a very boring time to take photos on my property. There's absolutely nothing interesting to see, especially when I only take pictures from the porch.

These pics taken yesterday and today.

Front "yard"

Weird -  spider hanging from a very thin web on the front porch. 

The goldenrods are everywhere, but they don't look very bright or robust this year.

That one tree (near my garage) seems to have lost its leaves permanently. 

A flurry of clouds
I knew that would impress you.

This is the kind of crap I have to start cutting down. It will take years........
(photo from back "yard")
 

I have separate food and water dishes for Kitzee (left) and Bosco (right), which I keep in different rooms.
Years ago, Kitzee used to get furious if Bosco came anywhere near her food. Now, she lets him eat out of her dish!
(that thing in back of them is a bookcase).

  

IN THE MIDST OF AUGUST

 

 

Yesterday was Friday the 13th. I thought this portrait of Bosco was appropriate. Black cats don't bring bad luck. They bring mysticism and entertainment.
Hell, I had a myriad of bad luck long before Bosco was born (and it persists....persists....)

Everyone is undoubtedly sick of my political posts and tedious critiques of the recent Olympics. You'd rather read funny, uplifting posts.

Well, my funny days are officially over. I'm definitely not in a funny mood. If you want entertainment, go to the Kim Jong-un website.

As for politics - - I get a sadistic high when I torture the  hardcore liberals - because they can dish out the crap but can't take it. They're not used to receiving backlash.

I'm in a hostile, fighting mood. So shoot me.

Change of subject (before you decide to leave)

How would you like to wake up in the morning and see your front "yard" looking like this?

The brush is ten feet high due to endless endless rain. It's IMPOSSIBLE to control.

I can't find a decent brush cutter. Most of them are nothing more than glorified weed whackers.

So I'm tackling the jungle single-handed with long-handled clipping shears and a chain saw.

It's difficult to discern my handiwork in the above photo. The right side is what I've cut. The left side is what needs to be cut.
It's a slow and torturous process - especially with my ravaged back and crippled spine. And the broiling heat.

I FINALLY bought a pair of work boots. If I had them six years ago I probably wouldn't have fallen on the ice and destroyed my spine.

They're comfortable and easy to put on. And they'll dissuade the snakes.

Do you remember the snake that I discovered on my bookcase a few weeks ago (or was it a few months ago?).

Well, he (she?) completely disappeared and I never saw him again. I did a very thorough search throughout the house.......but no snake.

I figure he must have slithered out the same way that he came in (wherever that was....).

Gnats, anyone?

Thousands and thousands of gnats everywhere. Extremely aggressive gnats.
I can't even eat a decent meal. I have to keep EVERYTHING completely covered and sneak quick bites before the gnats get it.

I've found gnats in my nachos (I'm not kidding), gnats floating in my iced tea.

The best way to kill gnats is with bowls of vinegar. They love vinegar and will quickly dive in the bowl - never to emerge again (I use plain white vinegar).

Add one or two drops (no more) of dishwashing liquid into the vinegar. This will assure that the gnats won't escape (that might just be an old wives tale, but I do it anyway).

Use OLD bowls that you never want to use again. I usually use old pet food dishes,

These are bowls of gnats that I caught only within a few hours. I presently have three bowls of vinegar in different rooms.

It looks completely disgusting, but the vinegar really works.

And meanwhile......
Kitzee is outside on the front porch, savoring the lazy midst of August.

INTERLUDE

Tired August is winding down like an antique clock, and no key can be found to rewind it.

The changes are very subtle, perhaps unnoticeable to some: shadows are slightly longer, trees look listless, afternoons are lethargic, darkness comes earlier. Summer is waning.

August used to be one of my favorite months - - when I lived in a decent house with central air, within a semblance of civilization.

I didn't have to contend with squirrels in the roof, 'possums under the house, snakes IN the house, acres of 12-foot "weeds", wasps, hornets, beetles, gnats, fruit flies, drain flies, GIANT spiders, endless rain, and a two zillion mile drive to town.

Am I complaining? Naw. When I'm in a bad mood you'll know it.

Late last night I got another horrifying aura migraine. It scared the jeeters out of me and I was forced to go to bed.
Stress.
Stress is my middle name.

Today (or sometime soon) I have to work on my car. It hasn't been starting properly and I was temporarily stranded the last time I went to town (I'll spare you the painful details).

So what else is new?
Fog every morning. Which I love.
Plenty of butterflies and dragonflies.
Which I like immensely.
Rain yesterday with unusually cool temperatures. Which was delightful.

Every once in awhile, I write these crappy, incredibly boring blog posts.....just so that you don't have too much of a good thing.

Photos, anyone?
These were taken a few days ago.

Morning fog in the front "yard"

 Early morning in the back "yard"

BIG BAD BITCH OF A SUMMER

This summer is a huge bitch. And it doesn't want to end.

I've lived in Southern California and West Texas - - which means I'm acquainted with agonizing six-month summers. 

When I came to the Tennessee wilderness I was delighted to discover summers that are brief and relatively mild. At least the first three were.

This fourth summer is a combination of the Twilight Zone, Wild Kingdom, and Death Valley Days.

I've endured more misery, horror, and pathos than one humble blog could maintain.

(What exactly is pathos? I threw it in for literary enhancement)

It hasn't rained in three days, which - in this area - probably means a serious drought.
The "brush" on my property has grown so tall from the continuous rain that it exceeds my six-foot-one height and impedes any attempt to drive out (in a vehicle).

I no longer give a rat's royal ass about trying to maintain it.

 My front "yard"

This is the shallow part

Of course, the tall brush attracts critters - which is probably why I had a snake in the house last week (see previous post).

I'm still completely unnerved over that adventure. I keep looking everywhere - thinking I'll find another humongous serpent.

I have squirrels in the roof and 'possums under the house. The critter invasion permanently expels the concept of all those cutsie Disney animal films that I was indoctrinated with as a child.

I'm ready to load my shotgun and annihilate Bambi. 

Did I mention that there was a small bat (yes, bat!) hovering around the kitchen window tonight?

I was making nachos at midnight (one of the advantages of living alone).

Suddenly there was persistent banging on the window.

 I was stunned to see a fluttering bat looking in at me. 

My first thought was Dracula!

My second thought was - he might break the glass.

I pulled down the blinds and turned out the bright light.

Bugs, anyone?

I'm still plagued with gnats (see two previous posts) and when they finally disappear, the Asian beetles will arrive (no, I'm not jesting). Happens every year.

My latest wasp sting (I've now had four this summer) is healing nicely but still itches.
The wasps are building nests everywhere and their aggression knows no bounds. I eliminated three nests this week and noticed a new one being constructed near one of my windows.

Four wasps got in the house yesterday and I was running around in my Fruit of the Looms armed with a gallon (yes, gallon) of bug spray. I managed to kill two of them.

Late last night (about 4:00 a.m.) I was in bed reading, naked (too damn hot to wear clothes), when a wasp came out of nowhere. It zoomed around the reading lamp.
I jumped out of bed and raced around the room, stark naked and armed with a fly swat
(don't try to visualize this - it's immensely unappealing).
Never did find the wasp.

Did I mention the intense heat?
It's been hotter than a tamale in Hades.
The header photo of my cat Kitzee (also known as Scratch) attests to the fact.

Bosco stays in low, cool places, but still enjoys basking near the sun.

THUNDERHEADS ON THE EDGE OF AUGUST

....and overnight - subtly, as if not to be noticed - August arrived.

Late on Tuesday, just at dusk, thunderstorms began blowing in. I ran outside to close the windows on the car - - wearing nothing but my underwear and cowboy boots (I added that solely for cheap visual effect).

When I glanced up at the sky I was aghast (yes, aghast) at how dramatic the clouds looked. Massive thunderheads were eerily illuminated by the setting sun. 

Naturally, I ran inside and grabbed my El Cheapo digital camera. Despite the fact that it was nearly dark and lightning was zapping unnervingly close, I managed to get a few shots.

It looked much more impressive in real, but I suppose my efforts are sufficient.
I didn't notice until after I took the first photo that the rising moon is visible between the clouds.

I also never realized how many mosquito bites one can incur while standing outside in your skivvies.

The first three pics were taken in the back "yard" at the edge of the forest.
The fourth (above) is a view from the front.

So here I am, long after midnight, on Thursday - - the first of August:
mild, humid, blissfully lonely. The lightning bugs have dwindled to a paltry few. The forest is alive with the incessant sound of katydids. 

Owls occasionally call from nearby treetops. I love to hear them. And a faraway chorus of wild dogs howl and yelp as they meander through the midnight hours. 
The dogs sound different from the coyotes - who make demonic, unearthly shrieks and wails.

Just another insignificant summer night - where a thousand random thoughts weave restlessly through the dark, isolated passages of my mind.....